Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
