Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
