Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
