Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
