a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
