i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
