I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
