does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
