I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You're like the curious george of whores
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
