Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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