he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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