i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
