I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
