Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just cropdusted the office
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
