farters have to be the big spoon...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
