The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
