there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
