The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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