Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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