Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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