Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
