Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Randomize
