You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
