Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
