Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
