I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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