Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
