No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
