break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
