You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
