home. puking in laundry basket.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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