Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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