She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
