I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
