you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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