we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
