i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
