went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i came on her dog
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
