Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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