it wasn't lemon gatorade
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
