It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
