The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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