This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
