i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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