and she was petting her beer can
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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