Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
