Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
