I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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