what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
