I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
