I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This is my gift to your gina
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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