only if we run a train.
done.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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